What Makes A Relationship Work?
it’s time to know what makes a relationship work…
It would be delusional to believe that a happy relationship is about finding “the right person” or “your soul-mate”. In fact did you know that the person who you are most attracted to, or the one who you choose is MOST LIKELY TO BE a person who will give you the emotional situations that are alike those you experienced in your childhood, whether good or bad. A human being will continue to recreate the same emotional circumstances because of what was associated to mean LOVE when s/he first decided what love meant…
for example…
If LOVE = HOME
IF a person has the experience as a child that HOME = FEAR, then for this person LOVE = FEAR
These are unconscious associations that the psyche makes regarding LOVE.
Because of these associations human beings begin to form a personality around love, so the way that you are, the way that your thought patterns dictate your moods/emotions attract a partner to you.
As a child we only want and need fundamentally TWO things…
to feel happy and loved, especially by our parents
to see our parents love each other and happy
If this is not experienced by a child, the child will need to re-create circumstances to accomplish the 2 fundamental needs. This is how you become the chaser in a relationship or the runner. You either chase love or you run away from it.
So say you… didn’t feel loved by your parents or… you didn’t experience your parents love for one another… you are most likely to attract a partner who either makes you work hard to try to receive some love so you become THE CHASER – YOU CONTINUOUSLY TRY TO PLEASE & ACCOMMODATE HIS/HER NEEDS.
OR…
You attract a person very unlike your parents because in your subconscious you are angry or resentful for not having your fundamental needs met as a child, so you attract a person who gives you love, support and trust but who you reject and experience as not the one for you.
You most likely break and start the relationship over and over again because you can intellectualize all the good in the relationship, but emotionally you feel so confused about what you want.
Understanding the reasons why couples emotionally wound each other on a regular basis, even if they want to stay together and love one another, is taking the first step to creating a healthy relationship. Education about relationships is recommended and an important key to relationship success.
When it comes to relationships what you don’t understand can hurt its survival. It is bizarre how a person learns how to do most almost everything that we do, from driving a car to cooking, playing cards, read and add up… except the one thing that does more to a human being’s happiness than anything else.
Research indicates that when a person is happy in their relationship and feels in love, it affects their happiness in other most important areas such as health, finance, well-being and career. Moreover studies confirm that even when a person is doing well in the areas of finance, health and career their well being is generally and overall affected negatively if they are not happy in their love life.
Simply put… regardless of how much value a person places on relationships, love gives the human race the most joy and the most sadness.
Paradoxically the persuit of happiness often leads to unhappiness.
The belief that all you need is love is untrue. It is a fact that the couples who have successful, healthy relationships have been those who have… COMMITMENT, DEDICATION, EDUCATION, DETERMINATION AND LOVE.
so what is the truth about love?
love is not enough for a relationship to work-
work out if you are compatible and if you both want to commit to the relationship- education about the dynamics of relationships is essential to establish compatibility and commitment
you can experience infatuation in a moment-however true love is and must be developed over time.
there are many potential partners you could experience true love with, be compatible with and be happy with.
no partner will ever be able to fulfill all that you want and need in a relationship.
exceptional sex has nothing to do with love